The Good, The Bad, and The Average #15: NUFC player ratings vs. West Ham (h) [PL12]

We hope you'll forgive us for treating this introduction section with the disdain it deserves. We lost, perhaps deservedly so, but we're still incredibly bitter about it 24 hours on.

Now who's ready for some 3s, 4s, and 5s?

Serena Taylor/Newcastle United

The Good

Erm... that Wor Flags display was canny enough.

Serena Taylor/Newcastle United

The Bad

Eddie Howe hasn't had many worse nights at Newcastle from a purely coaching perspective. His team selection was wonky, his substitutions were even worse, and his post-match comments were bordering on the deluded. All too often rubbish teams like West Ham come up here and take maximum points, while we huff and puff without creating enough.

We'd like to congratulate Jacob Murphy on one of the most laughable cameos we've ever seen at St James'. To lose possession 13 times in 28 minutes was something. He completed just 64% of his attempted passes and only managed to put in one dangerous-looking cross in seven attempts.

Dan Burn can rest easy after this performance from Lloyd Kelly. The former Bournemouth man was pretty much entirely at fault for the opening goal, completely losing Souček. One goal-saving tackle aside, he lacked aggression, was poor in the air, and showed no leadership. Oh, and he also missed one of our better chances as well.

Rightly hooked at half-time, 'Sleepy' Joe Willock was back tonight, sadly. It seemed to take him an age to wake up and get involved in the contest, and when he did start to get on the ball he lost it more often than not. In addition, he really should have equalised in the first half when shooting tamely wide unchallenged from the edge of the box.

Anthony Gordon just can't finish, can he? Gifted a massive chance by Todibo shortly before half-time, he could only fire a low effort at Fabiański when he really should have been scoring. He missed another big opening soon after the break and offered next to nothing otherwise—not for the first time this season—and he just didn't look like he fancied it up against Wan-Bissaka.

What is the point of playing Sean Longstaff in games like these? He doesn't have a creative bone in his body, he takes ages on the ball on the rare occasions he does get involved, and he barely contributes in terms of winning possession back to get us on the attack again. Howe has to find a way to get Tonali into this team permanently.

Bruno Guimarães played the pass of the game for Isak shortly before half-time, but the Swede wasted the opportunity. Our captain's most notable contribution otherwise—aside from losing the coin toss to make us kick towards the Gallowgate first for the sixth time in six matches—was to sloppily lose the ball to his big mate Paquetá in the build-up to West Ham's second.

Despite being the subject of a wonderful display from Wor Flags, this turned out to be a night to forget for Alexander Isak. He was caught offside from a Hall through-ball to have a goal chalked off, shot wide on a couple of occasions from outside of the box, and missed a gilt-edged chance to equalise when found brilliantly in behind Kilman by Bruno.

Tonight was another case of 'if he's not cutting inside and shooting, he's not offering much of anything' as far as Harvey Barnes goes. He wasn't any worse than Gordon on the left flank but he didn't justify his half-time introduction with the performance he served up.

Sandro Tonali was another big-money signing who managed to make us look worse rather than better when he was introduced just before the hour. He wasn't helped by a bizarre move to 4-4-2 with Gordon up front and Joelinton wide right, but he needs to take more responsibility.

While seemingly content to let Antonion and Paquetá referee the game themselves, Craig Pawson didn't have a completely terrible evening here, though he was naturally far from good. We're still adamant that we should've had a penalty for Mavropanos' rugby tackle on Wilson in the box late on, but the whistler wasn't much to blame for our defeat.

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The Average

We missed it at the time, but it was Joelinton who let Wan-Bissaka run off him for West Ham's second, though there were plenty of other teammates somewhat culpable for the goal too. Aside from that sloppy moment, the Brazilian was probably our best outfield player without being anywhere near his dominant best. It probably didn't help that he was asked to play three positions, mind.

Given a tough assignment up against the excellent Bowen, this wasn't Lewis Hall's finest evening in a black and white shirt but he was far from one of our worst performers. His set-piece deliveries and crosses from open play lacked accuracy, and he was unable to capitalise on a couple of really good positions in the first half.

Although more secure one-against-one than Hall on the other flank, Tino Livramento continues to flatter to deceive in terms of his contribution to the cause. We'd love to see him back himself on the dribble more often because he showed enough quality in that respect throughout last season. He'll soon be under threat from Kieran Trippier if he doesn't step it up.

One smart save from a Soler free-kick aside, Nick Pope had relatively little to do yet still managed to concede twice. It's hard to point a finger at him for West Ham's opener, but it looked like he could have done far better with Wan-Bissaka's low drive for the second.

Making almost double the number of defensive interventions as anyone else in the home ranks, Fabian Schär had a busy night at St James'. While he got through plenty of work, nothing he did was particularly convincing, and his passing wasn't anywhere near its best level either. He at least tried to make things happen for us, though.

The only major bright spot of the night was Callum Wilson's return from a six-month injury layoff. We're sure it won't be long until he's back in the treatment room, but for now, we'll just enjoy having a bit of a physical presence up front for the first time all season. (That was a stonewall penalty, by the way.)

It was good to see Kieran Trippier back involved, too, though he barely got any time to make any impact. We're still of the belief that he's our best option at right-back and we were sorely lacking leadership in the defence without him and Burn involved.

Ahead of their opening goal, we were smugly chatting about how disgustingly awful and uninterested West Ham looked. Little did we know that they were using Steve Bruce's tried and tested rope-a-dope tactic to drag us down to their level to beat us with experience. In the end, it was hard to argue with their victory. A word also for their fans who made a massive trek for a Monday night and no doubt had a battle getting home.

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The Breakdown

You won't be seeing many 7s and 8s this week, unfortunately!

The XI

Nick Pope – 6

Tino Livramento – 6

Fabian Schär – 6

Lloyd Kelly – 4

Lewis Hall – 6

Sean Longstaff – 5 (off 57')

Bruno Guimarães (c) – 5 (off 84')

Joe Willock – 4 (off 46')

Joelinton – 6 ⭐️ (off 68')

Alexander Isak – 5

Anthony Gordon – 4 (off 68')

The Subs

Harvey Barnes – 5 (on 46')

Sandro Tonali – 5 (on 57')

Callum Wilson – 6 (on 68')

Jacob Murphy – 3 (on 68')

Kieran Trippier – 6 (on 84')

The Gaffer

Eddie Howe – 3

The Opposition

West Ham – 6

The Ref

Craig Pawson – 5

Jacques Feeney/Offside

The Next

It's an old-fashioned™ 3 p.m. kick-off down at Selhurst Park on Saturday afternoon, with 19th-place Crystal Palace as our hosts.

Having failed to collect any points against the Hammers, we don't think we're pushing our luck by expecting Howe and the players to make amends against Marc Guehi and company.

Howay the lads!