'Denial': What game was Richard Keys watching on Saturday to claim this about Dan Burn?

There are few people out there as good as garnering attention from poor takes than Richard Keys - the fact that we're writing this proves that he's a master.

We know we're playing into his hands by giving him the coverage he craves, but it's either write this or scream into an empty room and honestly, that'll just freak out the neighbours.

Nine times out of ten, when Richard Keys talks about Newcastle United it's something negative, or simply factually inaccurate. He knows he has our fanbase on strings, that's why he does it, and he's pulled at them strings once again in his latest blog entry.

Keys has laid into the standard of refereeing again and used Newcastle's 4-3 win over West Ham as his prime example for poor officiating, and in doing so has exposed himself as the fraud he is yet again.

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Keys claims Dan Burn should have been sent off on Saturday

The disgraced former Sky Sports presenter said that Anthony Gordon dived twice to win our penalties and then goes on to claim that Dan Burn should have been given a straight red card for a shoulder-to-shoulder challenge.

"What a weekend it was for ref howlers. Mind you - when isn’t it?

"In no particular order - Antony Gordon conned Rob Jones twice. Well - once. The hapless David Coote, in VAR, was to blame for the second error. What did you see that was ‘clear and obvious’ David? I saw simulation. So did everyone that wasn’t supporting Newcastle.

"Why didn’t Jones send Dan Burn off for taking Kudas [sic] out when he was clean through? It was a denial. Burns [sic] made no attempt to play the ball. It was a clear red."

There's being wrong then there's being Richard Keys levels of wrong

Not even, Mohammed Kudus himself put up much of a protest when Dan Burn muscled him off the ball in that incident, it was never looked at, brought up or questioned by a single commentator or pundit. It was a total non-incident.

As for Gordon's "simulation", the man got scythed down for the first penalty and, although the second one is a bit more open to interpretation, there's no denying that Kalvin Phillips kicked right through Gordon's leg. There was no simulation there, the man took a full-force hoof to the calf. Even former Premier League referee Dermot Gallagher told Sky Sports News that it was a penalty.

Remember when Richard Keys just presented morning television and had no input on football? Those were simpler times. Also ... I am so old!