'The Streets Will Never Forget': Newcastle United XI

The Streets Will Never Forget: “players who defined an era, with skill and artistry which transcend the football pitch and echo through playgrounds, classrooms and workplaces.”

It's a phrase bordering on the trash-pile of 'cliche' at this point in footballing circles... but for good reason. Essentially, it's a phrase that perfectly encapsulates the joys and wonder of being a football fan. And in particular, a football fan of a not-so-spectacular team.

Sure, the title-winning teams can have their Thierry Henrys... their Wayne Rooneys... their Eric Cantonas... But have they ever seen a player dribble from within his own half to score a Premier League goal of the season contender? Okay, in some cases like Thierry Henry, yes.

But did they see that same player fizzle out into obscurity with Hull City after a bust-up with Alan Pardew? Probably not.

It's the incredible mixed with the idiotic that has defined Newcastle United in the Premier League era. We're a club capable of moments of magic and madness in equal measure. And the XI we've assembled typifies those qualities impeccably.

Slight disclaimer: there are a few real fan favourites who aren't included such as Ginola, Speed, Lee, Solano - who I feel are well remembered and revered by wider football fans as well as simply Newcastle fans. In this article, we’re talking about obscurities, lost to the history books except for the child-like glint in a Geordie's eye when he recalls an outrageous piece of skill or a wonder goal that would have made Alan Shearer himself proud.

You won't find many of these in an all-time Newcastle XI list, but they warmed our hearts and stole our breaths anyway, at least for a passing moment in time.

So without further ado, here is our Newcastle XI of unlikely cult heroes... the select few players that those of us on the streets of the Bigg Market or in hushed undertones of the Strawberry will never forget…

GK - Shaka Hislop (1995-1998 - 53 apps)

Kicking things off with our giant 6’ 5” goalkeeper, Shaka Hislop was Newcastle’s steady pair of hands and capable deputy before that mantle was bestowed on club legend Steve Harper.

Originally a striker in his youth, Hislop’s fearless and eccentric approach to goalkeeping endeared him to the Geordie faithful, even if it never secured him a prolonged period as Newcastle’s number one.

Post-career, he was awarded ‘Freedom of the City’ by Newcastle thanks to his work as an activist, particularly with ‘Show Racism the Red Card’.

RB - Habib Beye (2007-2009 - 52 apps, 1 goal)

“Sunday, Monday, Habib Beye!” The Senegalese international arrived somewhat under the radar during the brief Sam Allardyce era, but quickly established himself as one of the first names on the teamsheet under the resurgence of Kevin Keegan. Talented on the ball and a colossal presence at the back, he picked up the club’s official ‘Player of the Season’ gong; an accolade also bestowed on him by readers of the ‘Evening Chronicle’ - proving just what a fan favourite he was.

Shame he ruined it by jumping ship after relegation, though. But hey, Right Back was probably the toughest call in this list. And Beye edges out the likes of Perchinho and Turbo-charged speedster DeAndre Yedlin.

CB - Philippe Albert (1994-1999 - 96 apps, 8 goals)

If the previous pick was a contentious one in an often unremarkable position, there can be no doubt about this one.

Kevin Keegan’s Newcastle side were called ‘The Entertainers’ for a reason, and with a nickname like that, you could make a firm case for any of them to enter our ‘Cult Hero’ Hall of Fame here at NUFCFEED.

But while many of that team were renowned up and down the Premier League anyway (messrs Shearer, Ferdinand, Beardsley, Batty, Asprilla) - there are some that don’t get the appreciation they deserve in wider circles… namely one Philippe Albert.

That euphoria-inducing lob over Schmeichel, against a side orchestrated by Sir Alex Ferguson, at a point in the game where Newcastle were already 4-0 up, wrote Albert immediately into Geordie folklore.

Possibly the most iconic goal of Newcastle’s Premier League era, he had to feature, and that’s without admiring his ball-playing abilities, his calming demeanor in an otherwise rip-roaring team, and the fact he now spends his retirement running a fruit and vegetable company. Bloody marvelous.

CB - Nikos Dabizas (1998-2003 - 130 apps, 11 goals)

From winning goals on derby day… to being utterly destroyed by Dennis Bergkamp in one of the Premier league’s most famous ever goals… Nikos Dabizas certainly experienced the many highs and lows that inevitably come with playing for (and supporting) Newcastle United.

Edging out fellow derby scorer Andy O’Brien for his cult hero status and the fact he always seemed to play with the biggest of smiles on his face (and an unexplained bandage on his right wrist) - Dabizas genuinely seemed to bleed black and white. So much so, he was even known to frequent the Greek restaurant on the Bigg Market, and always stop for wholesome fan interactions.

The fact he’s a Euro Winner is just the icing on the cake. Lovely stuff.

LB - Olivier Bernard (2000-2005 - 2006-2007 - 102 apps, 6 goals)

Another unassuming transfer on a free back in 2000, Olivier Bernard turned away from gang crime on the streets of Paris to become a faithful servant under Sir Bobby. The first of four French players in this XI, Bernard formed a formidable partnership down the left flank with another player still to come in this list, and was one of the many unfortunate casualties of Graeme Souness’ first-team purge. A personal highlight was him smashing in an equaliser at Highbury. A chaotic finish from a delightfully unpredictable player.

And his love of the North East still endures today, as at the time of writing, he currently owns Durham City A.F.C.

RW - Hatem Ben Arfa (2010-2015 - 76 apps, 13 goals)

Need we elaborate on this one? Hatem Ben Arfa’s impact on English football is probably responsible for coining the phrase ‘The Streets Will Never Forget’ in the first place.

Blistering pace with the ball, mind-boggling flicks and tricks, and the arrogance to match; it was no wonder Hatem Ben Arfa was hailed as one of France’s most exciting ever talents in his early years, and he would’ve been a shoe-in for the cover of the FIFA Street video game series had his legacy endured on a global stage.

Sadly for him, trouble and tumult followed him wherever he went; from international bust-ups to the infamous fallout with Pardew at Newcastle. He even arrived at Tyneside under a dark cloud; reportedly forcing through a move to the Magpies by turning up at SJP without authorisation from Marseille.

Still, the form he showed to guide us to 5th spot, and some sumptuous displays alongside two other players in this list, make Ben Arfa a champion of footballing mavericks and romanticists across the continent. He had to make the cut.

CM - Yohan Cabaye (2011-2014 - 79 apps, 17 goals)

For me, no one encapsulates the utter madness, euphoria and subsequent heartbreak of the Alan Pardew+Mike Ashley era quite like Yohan Cabaye (Insert link to Mike Ashley signings Part 3?).

Tasked with replacing the goalscoring maestro that was Kevin Nolan after an emphatic return to the Premier League, Cabaye embraced the number 4 shirt and then some… turning in stunning displays and sumptuous goals on the way to Newcastle securing an utterly improbable 5th place finish.

But Mike Ashley, doing what Mike Ashley does best, saw no reason at all to build on a league finish that saw Newcastle dislodge Champions League winners Chelsea in the Big 5. So instead of striking while the iron was hot, Newcastle stagnated; Demba Ba was sold, Hatem Ben Arfa fell out with Pardew, and poor Yohan was tasked with carrying the sobering Magpies on his back for the next 18 months, including a winner at Old Trafford, and free kick after free kick to keep us afloat in mid-table.

PSG, flush with their new Qatari money, bid big to bring Cabaye back to his homeland, but in a small twist of satisfaction for the Geordies, Mike Ashley missed out on at least an extra £10 million in transfer fee, as his bumbling buddy Joe Kinnear agreed a cut-price £18 million with the Parisians.

CM - Emre Belozoglu (2005-2008 - 58 apps, 5 goals)

He didn’t score many, but when he did, he lifted the roof off Saint James’ Park. Announcing himself in some style with a 30-yard free kick to win the Tyne-Wear derby, Emre’s Tyneside candle burned brightly and quickly, making just 58 league appearances before shuffling off to Fenerbahce.

Of his five league goals, all but one were scorchers from outside the box. Unfortunately, he was also capable of a few scorching racial comments - a player unfortunately remembered for the good and the bad. Moving swiftly on…

LW - Laurent Robert (2001-2006 - 129 apps, 22 goals)

Where do you start with this lad, eh? Forgetting about his on-pitch artistry for one minute, this was a man who implied his own manager was ‘unintelligent’, in an interview that effectively signed a death warrant on his Newcastle career. Always one to enjoy the final word, the mercurial Frenchman stripped down to just a pair of grey ‘budgie smugglers’ on what he knew would be his final appearance; throwing shirt, shorts, socks and shinnies into the crowd for one last SJP spectacle.

But of course, we didn’t choose this list on how quickly you could drop your keks, and if Emre Belozoglu had an aversion to unremarkable goals, Laurent Robert had a fatal allergy to them. Currently listed at sixth in the Premier League free-kick scoring charts with 11; Robert had a penchant for the spectacular, with his sledgehammer of a left foot appearing to defy the laws of physics at times.

He was so good, he even narrowly edged compatriot Allan Saint-Maximin into the ‘Honourable Mentions’ section of this list, such is the deluge of chaotic French talent we have witnessed on the left wing over the past 20 years…

ST - Obafemi Martins (2006-2009 - 88 apps, 28 goals)

The summer of 2006 wasn’t a fun time to be a Newcastle fan. Record goalscorer Alan Shearer had just hung up his boots, England’s golden generation had bowed out in chaotic circumstances in the World Cup Quarter Finals in Germany, and club record signing Michael Owen was about to miss almost the entirety of the following season to injury.

With Shearer and Owen gone then, who was going to fill the goalscoring void for the upcoming 2006-2007 season?

As it turned out, a somersaulting, pint-sized Nigerian lad from Inter Milan.

Arriving from the Italian juggernauts for a hefty chunk of change, Obafemi Martins took a while to get started in black and white, but when he did finally arrive, he exploded onto the scene. A 30-yard howitzer that nearly ripped the net away at Spurs in a 3-2 win was probably his piece de resistance, but other memorable goals included a self set-up overhead kick versus Bolton Wanderers, and an impudent chip over future England goalkeeper Joe Hart.

Just about edging out his acrobatic predecessor Lomana LuaLua, Martins was capable of the magnificent and the mind-boggling, but also the infuriating; ruling himself out of the 06-07 curtain-closer at Watford with a self-diagnosed ‘injury’ before appearing completely uninterested in the doomed relegation fight of 2009. His final appearance in a Newcastle shirt was the infamous 6-1 preseason loss at Leyton Orient.

But as a young teenager at the time, those somersaults and backflips had me positively mesmerised. He had to make the XI…

ST - Papiss Cisse (2012-2016 - 117 apps, 37 goals)

The King of the ‘Streets Will Never Forget’ XIs up and down the country; no list would be complete with out famous one-season wonder Papiss Cisse.

Newcastle have been blessed with an outrageous array of striking talent over the years. Along with goalkeeper, it seems to be the area we’ve never struggled in; from Shearer and Ferdinand from the Entertainers Era… to Demba Ba and Loic Remy from the dismal Ashley years… to Callum Wilson and Alexander Isak of the Saudi Revolution; Papiss Cisse sadly misses out on that top-tier pantheon of striking brilliance due to his lack of longevity. But on his day (basically any day during the first six months of his time on Tyneside) he was up there with the very best.

The debut touch, turn and strike v Aston Villa… the delicate lob v Swansea… and of course, the devastating double at Stamford Bridge, the second of which goes down as one of the finest, most bamboozling goals of Premier League history.

Sheer… footballing… heritage.

Honourable Mentions

Whether they were simply too good or too famous to be remembered merely as ‘cult heroes’ at Newcastle… or didn’t quite boast the individual moments of brilliance of those who made the cut, here are some players that were also discussed when picking our XI.

• Pavel Srnicek (1991-1998 - 150 apps)
• Steven Taylor (2003-2016 - 215 apps, 13 goals)
• Fabricio Coloccini (2008-2016 - 248 apps, 6 goals)
• Mike Williamson (2010-2016 - 150 apps, 1 goal)
  
• James Perch (2010-2013 - 65 apps, 1 goal)
  
• Davide Santon (2011-2015 - 82 apps, 1 goal)
  
• Charles N’Zogbia (2004-2009 - 118 apps, 9 goals)
  
• Temuri Ketsbaia (1997-2000 - 78 apps, 8 goals)
  
• Cheick Tiote (2010-2017 - 139 apps, 1 goal)
  
• Jonas Gutierrez (2008-2015 - 187 apps, 11 goals)
  
• Allan Saint-Maximin (2019-2023 - 111 apps, 12 goals)
  
• Shola Ameobi (2000-2014 - 312 apps, 53 goals)
  
• Lomana LuaLua (2000-2004 - 59 apps, 5 goals)
  
• Peter Lovenkrands (2009-2012 - 75 apps, 21 goals)
  
• Leon Best (2010-2012 - 42 apps, 10 goals)
  
• Salomon Rondon (2018-2019 - 32 apps, 11 goals)