Rancid Newcastle United somehow escape with a point at Selhurst Park after embarrassing display

Newcastle United conceded in second-half stoppage time to drop two points against Crystal Palace but in truth it would have been daylight robbery had we come away with all three points ... we didn't deserve the one we got.

Something has to change at this football club and fast. The words 'stale and predictable' were used in a WhatsApp message I received at half-time and I cannot think of two more appropriate words to describe Newcastle's performances lately.

Every forward pass today was easily cut out before getting anywhere near its intended destination.

Newcastle were mere moments away from becoming only the fifth side to win a Premier League match without registering a shot on target thanks to our goal coming courtesy from, of all people, Marc Guehi after a brilliantly worked free-kick routine that saw an Anthony Gordon cross bundled in by the Newcastle United target.

One shot all game. Zero shots on target. We didn't deserve the point we got.

The stats page on Sky Sports shows that Newcastle had just ONE shot all game, and the best part is, I bet none of you can even remember that one - I sure as hell can't.

Nick Pope made some top quality saves to keep Palace at bay, but then went and got beat at his near post in dying moments of the game to throw away two points.

Sandro Tonali and Dan Burn can have a pint tonight for doing their jobs well, but the rest of them need to boil their heads with Eddie Howe.

We have to strikers on the bench ... let's bring a winger on to replace our injured centre-forward

On 22 minutes Newcastle lost Alexander Isak to injury and with two strikers on the bench in Callum Wilson and Will Osula, Howe opted to bring on Harvey Barnes creating quite the paradox as for the first few minutes following his introduction, Barnes looked like the only player capable of creating anything - the problem was, there was no striker in the box to aim for. So Barnes wouldn't have been on if Isak wasn't injured, but if Isak was on the pitch Barnes would definitely have created a goal, but he couldn't be on the pitch because he was Isak's replacement so ... oh no, I've gone cross-eyed.

In all seriousness, I ranted about our phobia of simply taking a shot on Monday, but it seems that it has got even worse since then.

Monday's defeat was a smash-and-grab by West Ham, and today's draw was a robbery by Newcastle. I almost feel sorry for Crystal Palace for only getting a point from us today.

Apologies for the meltdown but that performance really boiled my wee!

I definitely feel sorry for our poor fans who travelled all that way to watch that <word I can't publish here>.

Before the game we commented in our little chat that apart from Sven Botman, this was probably our best starting XI ... if that's true then we have a huge problem.

Get to work, Mr Mitchell, you've got some graft to do, mate.